In my first major SPED class, we were asked to submit a paper about a profile of a special child. I went to Silahis ng Tagumpay SPED Center at Sta. Ana Elementary School in Sta. Ana, Manila. There I met Aaron, an 18yr old student with autism. Through the help of his teacher, I was able to talk to Aaron. Needless to say, I was deeply moved by our simple conversation because in that brief moment, I was able to peek into his simple world...understand his thoughts, share his feelings, feel his heart.

Below is the Conclusion part of my paper (Aaron's full name withheld)...

            As defined by the Autism Society of the Philippines, autism is "a developmental disability that severely hinders the way information is gathered and processed by the brain, causing problems in communication, learning and social behavior". Aaron, at age 18, is diagnosed of this disability since he was young and is now trying to blend and cope up, in his own special way, with the learning and social environment.

            Aaron's special education at Sta. Ana Elementary School is definitely creating a very good impact in enhancing his personality. By studying and learning the same regular subjects taught to non-SPED children, Aaron can certainly level up with other kids even with his disability. This curriculum also helps special children in improving their cognitive skills, especially the higher levels of thinking. Moreover, it helps them shape their individuality because they are able to be in tuned with what's happening outside the school community such as knowing the news and current events in the country. Amidst the different disabilities present in the classroom, Aaron is also able to build friendships with other special children without fear of any rejection thus enhancing his confidence in himself and in others. The educational and moral support that his teachers and classmates give him definitely adds up to his well-being and social development.

            Aaron is also fortunate to have a family that supports his education. His family's acceptance of his condition was indeed the first step towards helping him grow as an individual – first as a son, a brother, a pupil, a citizen and a whole person. The family might have gone a stage of denial at first, but as long as they were able to overcome it and accept Aaron for what he is, then the help that he needs surely has come out naturally because he takes a special role in the family.

Special children who are able to go to school are indeed privileged. Most often, those who come from below average to average-socio economic family status are not given enough attention that they need especially when it comes to providing them good education. In our society, we are more familiar of the faces of these special children in the streets, unfortunately living on their own and with no means at all to take advantage of a decent living and education.  In this situation, the help of the local government through reach-out programs of a SPED school in the community is needed to intervene and support these children. On the other hand, those who are already in school, like Aaron, should also be given more opportunity for livelihood means after their basic education. There have been some SPED schools who offer livelihood education which would definitely benefit the likes of Aaron as they grow older so that they can earn for themselves and be less dependent on their families.

 On a personal note, I'd like to share that Aaron is my first real encounter with a special child. My heart was overwhelmed talking to him, listening to his stories about his family, how he enjoys playing with his sibling's baby, his favorite things to do and his seemingly love for studying and learning in school. Aaron showed me a realistic picture of the theories and description of special children that I only read and learn from the books and inside the classroom. As a non-teacher and non-Psychology major, my meeting with Aaron definitely flared the desire in me to learn more about SPED and how I, as a future SPED teacher, can do more for them. I now have a firm grasp of what I want to become in the near future – teaching the minds, touching the hearts and transforming the lives of our special children.

About two years ago, I was with a friend in a mall when we stopped by at a video store to check out the VCDs on sale. A movie-lover that I am but on a limited budget at that time, I couldn’t decide which movie I’d be buying so I asked my friend of her personal choices, preferably those movies that she already got to see which I haven’t yet. I also told her that I was looking for a romantic-comedy or a chick flick that’s light and funny. She looked around and named a few which I also liked, but when she saw this movie, she immediately gave it to me and very excitedly urged me to pick that one. “I am Sam?”, I asked, “What’s this about? I’ve never heard of this movie, and I’m not a big Sean Penn fan.” My friend said, “Watch it. Trust me, it’s one of my favorite Michelle Pfeiffer movies. You’re not human at all if it’s not gonna move you to tears”.  Well okay, I thought to myself, I could probably use some drama over the weekend. Little did I know that this film would eventually become one of my favorites as well – not just because of the actors’ brilliant performances – but mainly because of its heartwarming values, its spirit of hope and love, and the realities it presents involving people with special needs.

            Sean Penn played the role of Sam Dawson, a special individual with autism whose intellectual capacity was said to be around that of a seven-year old. The start of the movie showed Sam at work in Starbucks, cleaning the tables and arranging the condiments in a very organized pattern. He impregnated a girl who intentionally left the baby in his care. Sam named his baby girl Lucy, after the song “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” of his favorite band, The Beatles. Despite his disability and un-preparedness to a responsibility, it was amazing how he managed to take care of Lucy during her infancy. He got help from his kind neighbor Annie who taught him most of the child-rearing skills and valuable lessons in life. He also got support from his wonderful bunch of friends who were all persons with disability – one with Down’s syndrome and the three others with autism, all with mild mental retardation. Sam and Lucy found joy in the company of these friends and on the day before Lucy would officially go to school, these friends showed how they loved Lucy as their own when they contributed money to buy her a pair of shoes.

Lucy’s going to school, however, was the start of Sam’s dilemmas. Since he had the mind of a seven-year old, he was questioned by the school how he could take care of Lucy when she’d turn eight. He could barely read and it was even Lucy guiding him through the books. Lucy, being a brilliant kid herself, was aware of his father’s disability and mental capacity so she would sometimes fake that she no longer wanted to read so that his dad would not be left out and instead just read to her the only book he could read by heart, “Green Eggs and Ham” by Dr. Seuss. This behavior of Lucy became manifested in school, when she drew herself with Sam and it looked as though she was the one taking care of her dad. There were indeed times when Sam acted like a younger kid than Lucy, which sometimes embarrassed her in front of her classmates and other people, like an event in her school, in a restaurant and during her birthday party. After an incident in which Sam was briefly put in jail, the Social Service was prompted to take custody of Lucy, while Sam was only allowed to have monitored visits twice a week for two hours. This made Sam very sad so as prodded by his friends, he sought the help of a lawyer, the perfectionist character played by Michelle Pfeiffer. Michelle at first didn’t want to help Sam but eventually offered her pro-bono services just to show it off to her colleagues. Michelle played an important role in the movie because she gave hope to Sam that he could get Lucy back. Although what initially mattered to her was purely winning the case, she was later on moved by the intensity of Sam’s love for Lucy and his friends’ support and because she herself had her own problems with her family, Sam also proved to be her friend. The court proceedings turned out to be very difficult for both father and daughter, but Sam’s burden to convince the family court that he’s able to take care of Lucy was something that his intellectual capacity could no longer muster despite of all the preparation he and his lawyer went through.  The court then decided to give Lucy to the care of foster parents but this did not make Sam lose hope. However, when he saw that Lucy seemed happy with her foster parents, he thought it’s better for him to stay away but then later on when Lucy scolded him for not visiting her, he moved in to a house near her. The close father-daughter relationship they had was once again revived when Lucy would sneak out at night to go to her dad’s place. This situation continued days after days and at the end, Lucy’s foster mother came to a very big decision: give Lucy back to where her heart’s happiness was – with her father Sam.

Sam was indeed fortunate despite his disabilities. First, he’s able to find jobs and earn a living. Not too many persons with disabilities are given job opportunities, even with laws in place to safeguard their means of living. This is because not all PWDs are able to find good education that will equip them for a career or better profession. With Sam’s lack of reading and thorough communication or comprehension skills, difficulty to cope with immediate changes in the environment and autistic tendencies to act like a child, it was definitely a major decision on the part of the companies who employed him to take him as part of their working staff. Such trust and confidence on what special people like Sam can do and contribute to the society is what’s lacking in the real world, especially here in our country. The PWDs in the Philippines, despite the commendable laws enacted, are sadly not given the attention and care that they’re supposed to be provided for by the government. Many of them are in the streets, uneducated, unemployed and unfortunately taken for granted because of the public’s lack of awareness on the PWDs’ rights and privileges. If only the government could give free education to our special children and ensure their livelihood by implementing agreements with the private sector, then our Filipino PWDs would be able to prove their worth, earn a decent living and live to the best of their potential.

Second, Sam was fortunate because he’s got Lucy and his friends who loved him for what he was. This unconditional love was what helped him survive the greatest battles in his life. This unconditional love is also what we, normal people without disabilities, should give to these people with special needs. It could probably be hard at first to accept this reality, especially if they are a family member, but giving them our open minds and hearts is what they need most. Acceptance is the initial step towards understanding them because it is only through the acknowledgment of their existence can we move forward to learning how to love them. Sam was accepted not only by his peers who were also PWDs, but also by normal people around him who believed that he’s capable of taking care of Lucy. He might not be able to comprehend things easily as other people do, but as what his lawyer said, “Intellectual capacity does not have any bearing with the ability to love.” This means that all people – normal or with disabilities – feel the same emotions without the need for too much thinking or reasoning. People with special needs have feelings, too. When they’re happy, they smile and laugh. When they feel sad and low, they cry. Probably the only difference we normal people have over them is our capacity to act and function using all the body parts and senses, thus the ability to love is one thing that we share with them – one thing that they, too, should not be deprived of.

Lastly, Sam was fortunate because he got to experience the flaws of the real world yet he still lived his life in his own happy vision. He was unaware of the happenings outside his own wonderland but when Lucy was brought to the world, he took a responsibility that sometimes even normal people – like the mother of his child – would choose to run away from. His days became difficult and very stressful because he not only needed to provide for himself alone, he’s also got a daughter to mind of. His vision was opened not just to the mockery of people around him but also to the oppression of his rights as a citizen. Yet, of all these things that happened to him, he remained positive and never hateful to the people who took his Lucy and ruined his wonderland. Because of this, I sometimes ask myself – what if there were more people like Sam, would there finally be peace on earth because of the absence of those senseless hate-crimes? Would there finally be less corruption or less nature degradation because people are more contented, happier for what they already have and never jealous of what the others possess? And, if more people were like Sam, would there be more people helping other people in need and not expecting anything in return because they would love others for what they are and not for what they can give back? Surely, only God can tell. He has placed everyone in this world in a unique special role and a unique mission to fulfill that matters to Him alone. God indeed works in mysterious ways and it’s just for us to discover the special talents and abilities He especially prepared for us in this world.

“I am Sam” will forever touch my heart in a very special way. Now that I’m studying again to be able to teach special children in the future, I will always remember Sam and his friends who love each other unconditionally so that I, myself, can also help my future special education students see the world as beautifully as they can and bring them towards success in life.

And yes, as fiction as this movie could be, it has again never failed to move me to tears. Thanks to you, Sam.  

(Posted on my facebook account, 7 photo albums of our Bicolandia trip last April 17 – 21)

The Cardinales kaladkarin gurls made it again - this time in the Bicolandia region!!

After all the planning, some gurls backing out bec of luv life & Canada dream (luvlyf: Cathy &Jaye; Canada dream: Athena), itinerary sketching and backpacking-- INANG GERI, RACHELLE TORI, ISSANESS & ME braved out to our nth trip together of super fun & adventure all the way to the Bicolandia region!

Day 1

First adventure was the 8-9hr bus trip at 8:30PM via Isarog Lines' Junior Lazy Boy Extreme (loved the orange seats!);we arrived at Naga City Terminal around 5AM. Afer relieving our bladders in the 2peso-CR at the terminal (only Inang Geri experienced the CR inside the bus), off we walked to the Sabang terminal near SM Naga. The almost 2hr jeep ride to Sabang cost us P130 (P80 fare +P50 for our stress bags). We had our noodle &bread breakfast in one of the carinderias at the Sabang port while waiting for the boat that would take us to Caramoan. Ate Carinderia told us that the Harry boat could accomodate 50-100 people, but as it turned out the boat we'd take was not Harry but another un-named (colorum??) boat. The uber-fun part was the scene of us boarding on the boat -- because it was high tide& the waters going to the boat were chest-high, some Manongs lifted&carried us by their shoulders!!! Issa was the first unsuspected passenger to be lifted ("Eeek, Kuya!! Saglit laanngg!!!), next was Tori (same reaction), then Inang Geri (carried by two Kuyas!!haha!!) and last was me (someone else had to carry my big backpack before lifting me up!). Too bad I wasn't able to take a pic of Geri's lifting moment because I was still stunned&overwhelmed by laughter!! Nyahah..
If the lifting part was uber-fun, the 2hour boat ride to Sabang turned out to be uber-stressful! Since the boat was not the 'acclaimed' Harry, it was kinda small thus the waves hit us a bit hard. I was still able to sleep during the boat ride (thanks to my sleeping talent!) but I would wake up everytime the sea water would splash on my face, then i learned later on that the rest of the gels weren't able to sleep (and some old peeps screaming!) because of big waves! Imagine our relief when finally we arrived at Sabang…
The owner-type jeep of Rex Inn (where we had our reservation) was already waiting for us at the port; Kuya Genaro was going to be our over-all tour guide. The ride was about 30mins long to the first stop, Lutong Bahay along Centro road. We ate rice, fried fish, menudo and the surprisingly yummy (for me) laing. Tori even ordered an extra half of laing! After the simple but sumptuous lunch, we headed to the house where we would stay, the Arcilla residence and we were warmly greeted there by Manang Cynthia, the owner's sister. Our room was on the second floor, one bed and mattress (fit for us 4), with AC. Although the CR was in the other room downstairs, it was no hassle because no one was occupying it anyway.

The second half of Day 1 proved to be exhausting yet still managed to be fulfilling and fun. We rented a trike (now that I remember, we didn't get to know the name of this trike driver who drove for us for 2 days, haha!) then off we went caving. Umang Cave was the first stop - and how challenging it was! We thought that after the trike ride, we would just take a short walk to the cave (just like what happened in El Nido, Palawan) but we were sooo wrong!! The trek to the cave was soo long, had to cross 2 rivers (yes, 2 rivers!) & the land slopes were either so rocky high or slippery! Inang Geri at times wanted to give up but voila! We managed to get to the top of the hills (..are alive with the sound of music, haha!) The Umang (which we now call UMG [uh-my-gahd] Cave) was soo worth it nonetheless - it was like the first week of Gold's Gym, 4hrs stay in the sauna, 20x non-stop climb up&down the libertad office's ground floor to 3rd floor to produce that amount of sweat - the beauty of the cave was cathedral-like, with bats flying in the air! After the UMG cave, we felt a need to take a dip, that's why we're so grateful that Kuya Genaro brought us to Bulang-Bugang Cave. Its fresh cold water from the underground stream relieved us from sweat and heat of the sun. We took a short dip (after Tori washed the s**t off her slippers, wahaha!) then we headed back to the house. Still super thirsty because of the trek&ride (all the while we were thinking about the giant Coke hot air balloon in Subic!!), we downed bottles of Coke in a Centro store. I drank 2 8oz bottles, Tori had 3 while Inang Geri had Fit &Fat, err Ryt..bawal ang Coke eh! Hehe.
Oh by the way, what made Day 1 special was that we gained two new friends - couple Constantine and Svetlana from Ukraine. They were co-passengers in the boat ride to Sabang and we came across them going to Umang Cave. We asked them to join us in the spelunking, and up to now we're still wondering if they ever regretted their decision to join us because of the stressful UMG trek! (Did you, Svetlana? :) ) We also asked them if they wanted to join us the following day to go island hopping and they said yes. We're not bad a company, after all…:)

Day 2 - ISLAND HOPPING!

This was it - the reason of our tanned aka dark skin, hahah! On our way to the islands, we couldn't help but be awed once again by the beauty of Caramoan - and oh, it's very much like El Nido, Palawan especially the rock formations! Svetlana totally agreed that the scenery is like El Nido because they stayed in Palawan for 3 months.
Matukad Island - aside from the white sands, this island gave us another wow - atop was a secret lagoon which houses a large fish (bangus??). Local folks say that this fish is a diwata that's why they don't touch it. Hmmm…
Lahos Island - This was where we had lunch. Its waters are clear and the rock formations were awesome (we even discovered a small surfing spot, nyaha!) but I didn't like the experience that much because of the eeky, itchy jellyfish-es!! They really bit and up to now, I still have some itchy, stingy bites!! Aarrggh. Lunch was awesome, though. As Constantine said, in Ukraine - 'smash-noh' meaning delicious. I hope I spelled it right, guys!! We also learned another thing from our two new friends - they also eat rice but their staple food in Ukraine are potatoes! (So if you see anyone of us eating raw potatoes now, that's because we want to have Svetlana's figure! Hahaha!)
Tayak Island - Apparently, the Survivor Israel was still shooting in this island that's why we were not allowed to enter here. Hmp, well..not much to see there anyway. We call this island the "Deal or No Deal island" because of the manong guards who were crazy waving their hands up high to signal that we couldn't enter… Fine!
Tinago Island - As the name suggests, this is like a hidden sanctuary away from the other island. The sand, although not as pure as the others', are not rocky at all. You can be at the middle-part of the waters and yet it's not that deep yet! Rating: 4 stars!
Hunungan Island - Now this is the 5-star rated beach!! Our favorite of them all because of its super-white sand, rock-less bottom and our cute group pics under the small cave! J
"Epal Island" - haha, I can't remember the name of this island just across Hunungan. We just named it as "Epal island" because it's now a private property and jet skis were patrolling around it to make sure no one would trespass… epal talaga!! Hahah.
Gota Island - The much-talked about beach because the French Survivor shot its episodes here. This beach is fully booked until July because of Survivor, imagine that! It's not that special looking at it from afar, so I guess it's really beautiful inside it…
Malarad Island - just near Gota and Hunungan, the waters and scenery here are pretty much the same. Some chitchat with Constantine and Svetlana about witches and cold weather in Ukraine. He said we shouldn't believe that much in witchcraft otherwise it might turn out as real. He also said there's not much to see in Ukraine with its snowy weather and all - that's why it was pretty weird for them when they went to an amusement part (Star City, I guess??) and paid a fee just to get inside the snow/ice-filled room with ice figures to go ice skiing or something…nyahah, oo nga naman, weird nga…
Laplaya Island - last stop. we didn't swim here, but we had Coke!! We also had fun walking along the beach. While Issa, Tori and I were busy laughing our hearts out with the names and things we wrote on the sand (highlight was "Thanks to Goji!"), Inang Geri seemed to have a very meaningful talk about life with Svetlana and Constantine…Hmm…

Back to the port and the centro, we said our goodbyes to our two new-found friends, with a promise to "see you on Facebook!!" J

Day 3

We left Caramoan at around 5:30AM. Before going to the port, we paid a visit to the church first, but we didn't get to finish hearing the mass because we needed to be at the port at 6AM..otherwise we wouldn't get ourselves decent seats again for the 2 hour grueling boat ride..
Super Highlight of this day: the Lifting/Carrying experience at the Sabang port AGAIN - this time with pics, hahah!! I was the first one to be lifted ("Kuya, dahan2x, baka mahulog akechh!!") so I took the gurls pics. It was uber funny how the manongs gathered to carry Geri up, nyahah! Just look at the pics and see how many 'bodyguards' assisted her!! Funny thing was, only one Kuya carried her despite Geri's warning that she's heavy. So when she finally sat on his right shoulder, she heard the Kuya say, "Arayyyy…" Hahah, talk about broken bones!!

Naga City - Matt Tourists' Inn.
Red Platter - sumptuous seafood and veggies lunch. Desserts: halo sa buko, blueberry cheesecake, strawberry cheesecake and chocolate cashew cake
Biggs Diners - dinner! Spaghetti with chicken, tuna sandwich, etc…the best home-fried French fries!!
The Mercury Drug confrontation - starring Geraldine Ibanez. An irate 47-year old woman trooped to the Mercury Drug along Centro at around 8PM because the P50 Globe auto-load she paid for in the morning had not been credited yet in her brother's cellphone number. The confrontation lasted for an hour or so until finally the Mercury Drug sales clerk refunded Miss Ibanez the P50. Miss Ibanez said thank you and left.

Day 4 - Legazpi City

Mayon Volcano photo-ops galore!!
Boy wonder Jeremy took all of my pics, with all the posing galore and stuff he asked me to do. Such an artistic kid!
I sooo love the pic of Tori as the giant, picking up Issa while Geri and I were holding on to Issa. And the four of us sitting crossed-legs..it's soo maarte I love it! Nyaha

'Twas a memorable trip yet again and I'm just so glad I've shared it with these wonderful girls once more! I'm looking forward to our next trip, mga gels!

Vocabulary this trip:

Kuya /Ateh - anyone we meet, whether older or younger than us
Bato-batech - the rocky steps at bulang-bugang cave
Epal - Constantine even asked what this means,hehe!
Tindahan - aka our room in Matt's Tourist Inn!
Kapre/aso/taong grasa - true or pure imagination?? Ask Inang Geri!
"Ang baho!!" - ask Inang Geri!!
UMG - umang cave
Smashno - Ukraine word for 'delicious'
Coke - and more Coke!
Fit & Fat - the juice drink
Turmeric - aka luyang dilaw
Salted egg/mangoes/fish/Patata/Sandwich spread/Nivea sunblock - ask Kuya Genaro!!
Hany - my all-time favorite comfort food!!
Confrontation - conflict, disagreement, argument. In other words - Globe auto-load
Luma/makunat - ang Patata! Buti pa ang Nagaraya & Hany…
Survivor - hmp! What else?
Kambal sa Uma - me and Geri…nyahah!
Bro - si Lord, of course…

:)

Nervousness sometimes kills you in a bad shape.

Now I'm facing some kind of nervousness that concerns the future I'm sooo looking forward to.

If I get transferred to another service again, there's a chance I won't be able to enroll....again.

Today, I signed up for this online teaching site (www.ontue.com). It's a Korea-based site for anyone who wishes to teach English or what-have-you's to foreign students. I uploaded my profile, pictures, curriculum vitae and posted this piece on their forum:

This is it!

Some say life gets tough when you feel that everything around you seems like a routine already, that suddenly you don't know yourself anymore because all you've been doing through the years are not exactly what your heart really desires..and I say, AMEN to that.

I've been working in a call center for almost 6 years now and it's been pretty fun, sure - with some perks that I get and the friendships I've built. However, for the past year or so, I've been wonderin' - is this where I want to be, what I want to do, until my retirement years? A huge sound echoed in my head, saying "Definitely NOT". First, I don't want to continue working on graveyard shifts - because it will surely take toll on my health when I grow old. Second, the pressure at work is getting on my nerves already that sometimes, all I'm working for is simply just the salary every 15th and 30th, meaning there's no drive anymore...and I wasn't like this when I started! *Sigh* Third, which I think is what I really feel right now, I'd like to pursue something that's really close to my heart - TEACHING.

And so I told one of my agents just a few weeks back, "For me, there are only two rational reasons why people should resign from their present work: you'll get a more lucrative offer from another company or you'll follow what your heart really desires - even if it means getting paid less. Frankly, you don't leave a company just to jump into something that will neither give you a better salary nor self-fulfillment. Otherwise, you're bound to self-destruction."

So let me say it again... This is it!!

Or, at least, the start of it.... :)

Now I'd like to share with you a "hate letter" written by me. Yes, you read it right. I wrote it! This is addressed to a girl named Flora Mae 'Tacky' Tacgos, a former employee of my present company, who willfully and maliciously used my information as a co-maker for her loans at the company cooperative without my knowledge, so now I'm paying for her debts! I posted this hate letter on her friendster account and after a few weeks or so, she blocked me on her friends list. The nerve, really!!

FORGERY IS A CRIME

I will not beat around the bush here. I am sending you a message because I am pissed off. I'm not sure if you know me, because I can hardly remember if we ever talked while you were still in Parlance. I'm sure though, that you still remember when you applied for loans at PECCI and you FAKED my signature. Yes, you FAKED, you FORGED my signature. PECCI is currently deducting P950 from my salary every payday and this started on May 30th, if I'm not mistaken. So you see, I still have to pay 10,000+ more for SOMEONE WHO I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ANY CLOSE ENCOUNTER WITH, for SOMEONE WHO COMMITTED A CRIME. I don't even have personal loans but I am paying for YOURS.

I guess when you did the forging, you knew that it's a felony...or do you even know what a felony is?? It's a CRIME, Miss. A sin. Did it even occur to you that you're not the only one in need of money??

I remember the last time I saw you was when you were in Jupiter Mommy Pod, so I guess the money was for your baby. But how could you use some money for your baby if you got it from BAD means? Gabby even told me that she's your baby's Ninang..but what the heck, you also forged her signature! Am I not right? I showed her the photocopy of the loan forms and she said it's not her signature either! What kind of a friend are you, really? Do you even know that Gabby only gets 1K every payday because of others' unpaid loans and now you're adding to it?

I am really bent on suing you, just so you know. I have all the evidence that could prove I didn't sign your loan forms. If you have some conscience left, or at least for your baby's sake, YOU WILL COME OUT TO SETTLE YOUR OBLIGATIONS.

My father is sick and I am the breadwinner in the family. I do not expect that you care about my financial status because you didn't care about it when you forged my signature, but all I'm asking is that you find it in your HEART to PAY YOUR OWN DEBTS and NOT PASS YOUR BURDEN TO INNOCENT PEOPLE who are already loaded with their own problems.

Have a heart, please. I don't know you, you don't know me. You don't know what I'm going through right now. I'm giving you a chance to clean up your mess before I go after you or your family in case you're not in the country anymore. Reply to this message and I'll give you my contact numbers.

Call it a writer's block or just plain laziness (I think it's more of the latter), I'm only a bit surprised that my last entry in this dear blog was October 4th. So I decided to print here in full my e-mail to my two bestest friends Mela & Celyn last Oct.12th, which essentially narrates what's happened to me during the past weeks or so. Read on, folks...(pardon for some very gay lingo & text message-like words, though )

What does the future hold for us? Two things, which are not necessarily options: happiness or misery.

Is there such a thing as 'you are what you do' when there is 'destiny'?

If friendship stays, how come nothing is permanent?

Treasure your present in a manner that would make a better future. I can't see a future. I am blind at present.

Save us from the fires of hell. Help us clean up this hell.

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry. I don't have any other excuse except that it's true when they say that 'promises are made to be broken'...

I'm sorry. I'm just out of sorts lately because of a dilemma I am facing right now. That is, to pursue the graduate studies I've been longing to take or...not.

Sigh! I wish I have more time to sit with you today. There would be more time for this soon, I'm sure...although I'm not gonna make promises anymore.

Thank you for staying with me. It really means a lot.

Dear Blog,

Hi! How are you?

I'm so sorry I've neglected you for quite some time now. I didn't mean it. It's just that I got caught up with my freakin' busy schedule and didn't have time to drop by and check on you. I'm sorry. I really am.

Meanwhile, I have to attend a leadership training in 15minutes (see how busy I am). I promise I'll take care of you tonight. We'll talk endless.

Love yah.